sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
