i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i believe in u and ur pee
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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