i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
