Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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