WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
