If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
