Christians are straight up FREAKS
Your tits are I can't wait for
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
