update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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