he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
