Midget sex pt 2 tonight
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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