I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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