I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
time to smoke my breakfast
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
