just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
