When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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