I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
