Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
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I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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