Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
