Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
