You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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