Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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