I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize