i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize