Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
