there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just cut my nipple shaving
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
