i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
40s are totally the cure
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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