somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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