Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
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I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize