my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
