I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
