Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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