It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
