Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
