Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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