you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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