i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
