she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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