Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
