ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
