I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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