so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
