And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
