why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
