I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
