i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
