Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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