Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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