So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
