somebody snuck up and got me drunk
...so i touched it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
