Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
