dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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