so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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