The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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