I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
