My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
