barbara walters just said penis...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
