Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
