They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
