"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
