I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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